What are you afraid of?

     From the beginning of this week until 3:40 this afternoon I was so nervous I couldn't think straight. Our individual meetings with our coach were all this week. Mine was at 3:30 today. I was scared that he was going to tell me to not come back and I would have to start looking for a new place to go and play. I was scared that he was going to try and put me down or tell me that I am not good enough. I was afraid that this meeting was going to be nothing but negative and I was going to come out of there depressed wishing that I had done more during the summer to get ready for the season, or worked harder during pre-season every chance I got.
     I realize now that every day we athletes get a chance to continue to play our sport is a God given blessing. I may have made this verse reference in a previous post but it is too good to be left alone... 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat, drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." In every area of our lives we need to do our absolute best and have no fear of standing out by doing so because people will see how hard you work and what attitude you have and they will know that something is different about you. That something, is that you are doing your best for the Lord. And sure enough if you are trying to honor God doors will open for you to talk to people about your faith. It's not hard to share your faith with someone. It's a lot easier to do that than to create a human being from scratch and breathe into him the gift of life and the ability to do amazing things. If you think it's hard to share your faith with people then tomorrow morning at dawn try and do the second option and see what you come up with. We who live in America have been truly blessed because we face almost no persecution about our faith, so why not use that opportunity while it still last?
     Today I had an epiphany. After the meeting I was very confident. I realized that I am standing at a doorway to a new level of player that I have not been yet but I am so close to reaching now. And while I was sitting there thinking about all the good things that are about to happen I asked myself, "What have you been afraid of all this time? Why weren't you this player before?" and I came to the conclusion... I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of standing out and working hard and achieving things because once you've done that there is more of a chance for failure. I had stabilized at 60% when I really could have gone to 100%. I was afraid of failing...


     “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

                              -Marianne Williamson

     I stumbled across this tonight and it hit me right in the heart. And I really don't have words to describe what I mean by all of this and what I am feeling but I hope that I've done a good enough job that whoever reads this completely understands.