One door closes another door opens...

     Hey everyone! I am sorry I have not posted in a while but I have been going through a lot lately. First before I begin, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and ya'll really honored the Lord this Christ-mas season.
     Well where do I begin? I guess I will just put it out here straight forward and honest and I will try and make sense of everything that has been going on sound good? ... I decided to quit playing soccer for South Georgia College. I am going to take two classes this next semester and I already have a job at the YMCA in Waycross. And as weird as it may sound... I am completely happy and at peace.
     The reasons, without going into tons of in depth detail of every thought that I had, are simple. I got extremely stressed out this semester because I was trying to do my very best in everything and I wasn't receiving much reward at all. (Now that sounds like a spoiled brat attitude, but trust me that's not all.) I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing, I was completely not at peace in my mind or heart at all. I have always felt that if I can look around and feel at peace with my life because God is happy with what I am doing then I need to keep on doing it. But this was not peaceful at all. I was prepared to go back and do this next semester at South Georgia but I just did not feel at peace about it. I felt like I needed to take a step back for right now. I dreamed about it at night, and thought about it all day long. But since I decided to do what I am doing, I have slept wonderfully, and everything has been going good.
     I think God threw me a huge curve ball. And I sort of feel bad about posting that I felt God wanted me to be at SGC for another year. But maybe that was a good thing because it can show everyone who has not swung at a curve ball before kind of what they are really like.
     I don't know for certain whether or not I will play college soccer ever again, I don't know if this curve ball is still curving or if it's already in the catchers glove. But I am working out and keeping in shape and enjoying everything now. And if or when I get another opportunity to play, I am going to blow the roof off.
     So the title for this blog is still very much the same. And I still am going to post and continue this. I'm going through a lot and I would really appreciate all of the prayer support I can get. I just trying to please God that is all. But I am going to end with this quote which is my personal favorite.....

     "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm." - Sir Winston Churchill

Merry Christmas Everyone!

     Merry Christmas! I hope the holidays have been going great for everyone so far! My whole family is home for the holidays and we are happy about that but we aren't so happy for the circumstances. My mother got blood clots in her right leg just after having traveled home to the states for some different meetings. So now my parents will be here for a while. She is recovering slowly, but please be praying for her.
     Make sure to thank God for everything you have and everything you receive this Christmas. We are all so blessed in ways that may not stand out to us at the moment but if we think about it they will. I know that if nothing else (which there are tons more blessings) I have been truly blessed to be an American. There are people all over the world that spend their whole lives trying to get into America but they never do. This is a truly blessed country and we can't forget that. We should all thank God every day for blessing our country as much as He has and we should continue to pray for her future because if we forget God, then nothing good will come from that.

     Btw, I have eaten so much lately I feel like I may never run again. Haha. Jk. But I have eaten a lot.

Why settle for average?

     I am trying to change myself in huge ways and one of the biggest things that I am facing is that for so long I was accepting average results on things that I was doing in my life. Too many times the thought went through my head this semester, "You know, doing just enough studying to pass is actually alright." Thinking back, that was a sad, sad way to be. I also was settling for average in my workouts. For instance I would only go to the gym three times in a week and instead of going ham like I used to, I would just do a little bit and kind of lazy my way on out after 45 mins. .. I also got average or actually less than average in my spiritual life. As sad as it is for me to admit it.. I used to try and read my Bible every night but I fell into a every other night routine or even every third or fourth night. The Lord finally got through to me one day when I was watching something about Tim Tebow. I started thinking about what an awesome guy Tim is and how I would like to be that way. I have always prayed that if I am not going to use soccer to honor the Lord then I don't want to do it anymore. Then I realized something, maybe the reason that I had not been performing at my normal "trying to do my best" way was because I was giving in too much to temptation. And I thought about Tim and how much temptation he must have every day because definitely if the devil could get anybody to fall right now he would probably choose him. This made me realize that the higher I climb and the more things I achieve and the more influence I have, the more temptation I am going to face as well. I can't let my guard down and I can't quit learning about God and trying to become closer to Him. Things have really been looking up for me and things are looking like they are going to continue to get so much better! Lord willing. .. I get so tired of seeing these guys who get on such a high platform and are honoring the Lord so much and then they get caught doing something that just tears their reputation apart and people really start to doubt the Lord and his goodness. One of my favorite quotes and I don't know who it's by goes something like this, "I want to be the type of man that when I wake up in the morning the devil says, oh crap not him again." ... I'm not saying that this is easy, and I am not saying that I can do it, but... Luke 1:37 says, "Nothing is impossible with God."

I swam with elephants... nearby.

     Yeah they weren't literally in the water with me but they were drinking from it. This is another one of my short stories because I feel bad for not coming up with some deep message lately. ... I and a bunch of my mission family were all swimming in the warm spring at the Yankari National Wildlife park and a herd of elephants came through the woods and started drinking from the spring. It was very cool to be that close to them and watch them. I kept feeling like Tarzan while I was swimming around near them. To me that was one of the coolest experiences I had because it was like something out of a movie. You never wake up expecting to swim next to a herd of elephants you know? It made me realize how truly blessed I was to live where I did.

     Thank You God for blessing me and my family and allowing us to enjoy the wonderful things that You have created.

Respect.

     Once again I have been trying to come up with a new moving blog but I really can't think of anything. So I am going to just tell a little bit of what has been going on in my life since I last wrote.

     We are entering our last week of the semester and so I have four exams to study for which has really been stressing me out. I have also been working out at least three days a week. And I have applied for two different jobs. Hopefully I will be able to make a little money because the economy has been looking rough these days. Especially if you're a college kid.

     One thing that I do want to share is that I was quite proud of myself when I was applying for these jobs because it was easy for me to get references. I'm not saying this to brag but I want to point out that being respectful at all times and being a nice person to people goes a long way. You might have a tough job, or struggle with a sport, or just get stressed out by family stuff but it will really benefit you in the long run if even with all of that going on you remember to be respectful to people. You can't make everyone happy and for some people no matter how much respect you show them they are just not going to ever give a care about you but it will pay off in the long run if you stick with it and don't give in to anger and hate. Last night I was reading my Bible and I read this... Romans 5:3-4 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope..." I think Paul was more talking about suffering for Christ and becoming closer to Him through it, but it makes good sense this way too I think.

Every little kid aspires to be a big kid... The trick is to never grow up...

     Today one of my best friends Charles Jones (CJ) and I had the honor of going to First Babtist Church, Folkston and do a skills demonstration for the kids who were playing in their Upward soccer league. It was their last day and the church staff thought it would be a good idea if we came and showed off a bit hopefully to keep the kids interested and show that they could also go far in soccer if they worked at it. This was a truly big honor for me because I was always one of those kids growing up that looked up to high schoolers and college people so much!
      I remember being little and getting so crunk on Fridays because that was the day that the Ware County Gators played and I looked up to them so much! And it's funny how when you grow up those memories of how awesome everyone was that was older than you, stay with you. You can still think back and be like, "Man, I remember watching Fred Gibson play for Ware County and the stadium used to be packed out every game!" (Even if the stadium was only half full it still felt like it was packed out.) I do remember one time while I was attending Williams Heights Elementary they brought Fred, and two other Gator Football players to our lunch room all decked out in their pads and jerseys... Pretty much every kid in the lunchroom tackled them and brought all three of them to the ground. It was quite intense, and to be honest I don't think they were ready for the whole 3rd and 4th grade, pads or no pads.
   Even to this day, Fridays hold something special to me. And I doubt that will ever change. Today, we got to  be a part of that whole "kids looking up to older people" scenario. It was great, I don't ever remember doing something like that before. As we did tricks on the field and played some 1v1 I could hear the kids on the sidelines shouting and saying, "Wow! They are so good!" and do you know what? Hearing those words from the kids meant more to me than anything a coach has ever told me. It was great, and it made me feel like maybe we really did help these kids to want to play the sport even more. I hope that they saw that these older guys are Christians and they are still playing soccer and loving it. I have always prayed that if I am not going to use soccer to honor the Lord then I do not want to play it anymore.
     After we finished up our skills demonstration a bunch of like 9ish year old girls came and asked us to take pictures with them which was pretty funny. And then this one younger girl and her mother came over to get our autographs which was really humbling because I don't know that I have ever given a serious autograph before and it was cool to think that to this little girl I am really something special.
     So for me, I am going to continue to remember this day. When I am down on myself for having a bad practice or game I won't give up. If someone that truly matters to me tells me that I can't make it anywhere, I am not going to listen. I am going to remember these kids and know that to someone, I matter and those someones are the ones I am going to play for. I am going to play for the little kid inside of me and love life and live it to the fullest and try and honor God in all that I do.

Never grow up.

What is it with me using the bathroom and random animals being involved??

     Hey everyone, I haven't posted in a couple of days because of being busy with school. I hope to come up with some moving post over the weekend but we will see, whatever the Lord lays on my heart I will do my best to share... Tonight I figured I would just tell another story from when I was in Nigeria and coincidentally it has something to do with me trying to use the bathroom on shrubbery again.
     In my sophomore year of high school I and quite a number of my friends went to Yankari National Game Reserve. For those of you who have not been to this place, if you ever get the chance I would take it. Anyway, some of my friends and I were out walking around way too late at night for being around wild animals. We had seen a bunch of water bucks standing together and eating, or doing whatever they do at night, and we decided to be brave and walk over to them. They were not afraid of us at all, in fact one of them walked within arms reach of me which was pretty exciting and scary at the same time because these water bucks are not small and they have two very big horns. After hanging out with all the "8-points" we decided to move on and keep looking for animals... I had to pee. So I started over to the nearest tree away from everybody. When I had gotten about twenty yards away from the tree I was greeted by a large black animal. This animal jumped down out of the tree, faced me for a second, and then ran off into the darkness. My first thought was that it was a bear, but that idea was shot down quick when I remembered that we don't have bears in Africa. Then I realized that it was in fact a leopard. Needless to say I did not continue on my quest for a bathroom but I went back and convinced my friends that we should probably do the smart thing and call it a night. It was a very cool experience and thank God nothing bad happened. ... So what's another lesson we can learn from this? Well I have two... 1) If you let James Bowman drink a lot of water and follow him out into the bush there is no telling what animals you might see when he begins to take a leak. 2) Always, always, always check the shrubbery that you are about to pee on.

   
And yes, that is a water buck. Sorry I don't have a leopard picture... But google works well if you want.

What are you afraid of?

     From the beginning of this week until 3:40 this afternoon I was so nervous I couldn't think straight. Our individual meetings with our coach were all this week. Mine was at 3:30 today. I was scared that he was going to tell me to not come back and I would have to start looking for a new place to go and play. I was scared that he was going to try and put me down or tell me that I am not good enough. I was afraid that this meeting was going to be nothing but negative and I was going to come out of there depressed wishing that I had done more during the summer to get ready for the season, or worked harder during pre-season every chance I got.
     I realize now that every day we athletes get a chance to continue to play our sport is a God given blessing. I may have made this verse reference in a previous post but it is too good to be left alone... 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat, drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." In every area of our lives we need to do our absolute best and have no fear of standing out by doing so because people will see how hard you work and what attitude you have and they will know that something is different about you. That something, is that you are doing your best for the Lord. And sure enough if you are trying to honor God doors will open for you to talk to people about your faith. It's not hard to share your faith with someone. It's a lot easier to do that than to create a human being from scratch and breathe into him the gift of life and the ability to do amazing things. If you think it's hard to share your faith with people then tomorrow morning at dawn try and do the second option and see what you come up with. We who live in America have been truly blessed because we face almost no persecution about our faith, so why not use that opportunity while it still last?
     Today I had an epiphany. After the meeting I was very confident. I realized that I am standing at a doorway to a new level of player that I have not been yet but I am so close to reaching now. And while I was sitting there thinking about all the good things that are about to happen I asked myself, "What have you been afraid of all this time? Why weren't you this player before?" and I came to the conclusion... I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of standing out and working hard and achieving things because once you've done that there is more of a chance for failure. I had stabilized at 60% when I really could have gone to 100%. I was afraid of failing...


     “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

                              -Marianne Williamson

     I stumbled across this tonight and it hit me right in the heart. And I really don't have words to describe what I mean by all of this and what I am feeling but I hope that I've done a good enough job that whoever reads this completely understands.

I peed on a monkey once.

     Maybe this will brighten someone's day haha. It is a true story from when I was in about the 5th or 6th grade. One Sunday morning my parents and I had gone to church in the bush as we did most Sunday’s. We were at this place that was deep in a valley between mountains. We climbed up one side of the valley and were looking out over it onto the small spread out village below and enjoying what God had created. On the way back down I had to pee really bad so I went over to a bush and as soon as I began to go the bush exploded….. a monkey had been hiding in that bush and he really did not feel like maintaining his stealthy hiding place was worth the pee that I was going to let loose on him. He screamed, jumped out of the bush, and tore out further up the mountain… I screamed, jumped, and tore out the opposite way! … Needless to say, I did not have to pee anymore.

Lesson learned: Always check the bush you are about to pee into.

Courageous...

     Tonight three of my closest friends and I went to watch the movie Courageous. It was absolutely amazing. A huge two thumbs up from my point of view. I pray that I can be courageous for my family one day. Not only for my family but in every aspect of my life. One definition of courage is the ability to do something that frightens one. Jesus did something that would frighten anyone. It frightened Him. But He still went through with it. Dying on that cross and taking all of our sins upon Himself is the ultimate act of courage that I can think of. Most of us get too scared to just say that we believe in Jesus let alone die for Him. I don't have that much to say on this topic except that as Christians we need to be courageous where ever we are, in whatever sport we are doing. Maybe your courage will come when a fellow student asks you what you believe or before you step onto the field you "Tebow." My goal is to be more courageous and for people to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jesus Christ is my savior and Lord.

   

Some times God throws you a tattoo...

     God threw me a curve ball today. He threw me a tattoo. Now before people start thinking I got a tattoo let me take a step back. I have been seriously trying to find out what God has in store for my life and what I need to be doing. ... Well today I was standing outside my advisers office and a man came up the stairs next to me. I said hey to him and he went off to another room somewhere. In a couple minutes he came back and was waiting to see the same lady. I noticed that he had a tattoo that was shiny on his arm so I figured he got it recently because when you first get them you are supposed to put some type of lotion type stuff on them for like the first week or so. Anyway I asked him about it and we started talking about tattoos. I told him that I had considered getting one of a cross on my back. And he asked me if I was religious. I of course said I yes. He then said that he isn't very religious as far as going to church every Sunday but he does remember the part of scripture about treating your body as the temple of God. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) He said that when he was 18 he made decisions that he wishes he could take back. He said that he suggest that I really think about it and take into consideration that part in the Bible that he mentioned and also to not base my decision on emotions because it is something that last will last with me forever. ... While he was saying this it made me think of college right now and soccer. It made me think about how what he just said can apply to every part of my life. Especially not basing things off of emotion because I am young and I have a lot to learn and a long time to learn it in Lord willing. So I then spoke with him about college and my coach and soccer. He reminded me that I have time left in this school year and we have more practices and games to come. So what if I didn't get as much playing time as I would have liked? That is now in the past and I have time to work on becoming the player I know that I can be. If after I have worked my butt for the rest of this year and I am still not seeing my place in the team becoming bigger then I can start thinking of a new route for me to take. ... Anyway, I don't even know if my recreation of what happened made sense but my point is, I think that God wants me to fight through at least until the summer. And deep down I feel that He wants me here for another year. So we will see how things work out... Please keep me in your prayers! Thank you!

Btw, this was not a slam on people having tattoos. I think that is personal between you and God and if you feel God is okay with you having one then go for it.

Come and listen...

     For those who have not figured it out, I normally don't post a status on facebook after my team loses a game. I am a person who loves to win and I have found that in order to achieve things you can't sit there a dwell on the past, you have to pick yourself up and move on. And one way I pick myself up and move on is by not posting the fact that I just lost. I think that as an athlete you should try to never use words like lose, fail, give up, etc. when talking about yourself because it can bring down your confidence and make you not achieve as much. It's the same sort of thing about people who say, "Kill me." and other phrases like that. What are we always taught in school? If a fellow student starts saying things like that we are supposed to go and report it to someone who can help them. Everyone at some point tells themselves that they are going to probably lose a certain game, but I feel you should never verbalize that thought.
     Now having said all of that, I will tell  how our season ended in Atlanta this last weekend. (I guess this is contradicting myself, oh well. The whole point was for me to say that I hate to admit that I lost.) We arrived in Atlanta on Thursday and got to our hotel rooms. I felt very much like a professional because the rooms were extremely nice! Well, they were extremely nice for someone who has been an MK in Africa most of their lives haha. Friday our girls played against Georgia Perimeter College and lost in a golden goal overtime. I felt so sorry for them because they had literally played their hearts out and we had cheered so hard for them. I think their loss was the most dramatic of the weekend. If anybody deserved to move on to the finals, the girls should have. The next day we were facing GPC as well and I could sense in my teammates that every one of us was extremely focused and nervous at the same time. Finally we were playing in a game that truly meant something. We were all really focused and quiet in our warm ups but at the same time filled with energy. everything was quiet from our team until coached called us to huddle up before the game got under way. At that moment when he called us all of our players started yelling and screaming and clapping our hands and beating on our chest.  It was like some one had just unchained the beast... For the first 30 minutes of the game our team totally dominated. We couldn't get a goal but we had all of the possession and it was clear that we had come to play. Then we had a goal disallowed because one of our players was "offside." That's what makes soccer so dramatic is that there is no instant replay and no goal line technology, once the ref calls it, it is done. He wasn't off, but the ref made a bad call. And for some reason, after that call our team attacking mentality was down. For some reason the scale started tipping to GPC's favor. I really have no way to describe what happened... I do truly feel that God did not want us to win that game for whatever reason. I still can't explain it and I may sound crazy but oh well, but I was praying the whole game four our team to have good attitudes and keep our heads up and all of that stuff and at some point I just felt at peace about the game. It felt like God was telling me, "Not this game James. You're starting over new. It's time for this season to be over."
     So now I've begun a new personal season. I begin on Wednesday, a new workout schedule and I'm going to continue to become the player that I once was but way better. (That's my plan. Obviously God has His own, the story above should prove that.)
     I labeled this post "Come and Listen..." after a song by David Crowder. It is amazing to me how God speaks to us while we go through out our day as long as we listen.

Go towards the light!

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
                                                                                                                 ― Thomas A. Edison

     As an athlete of any kind there are certain things that you must do in order to succeed and go far in your sport. No athlete plays a sport because they genuinely want to lose. Every one who plays a sport has something that they want to accomplish. So what are your 10,000 faulty light bulbs? Some of mine are... 1) Thinking I can eat Zaxby's, Chic-fil-a, Ranchero's, etc. and then go and play a game the same day. It's just not going to turn out well. 2) Being dehydrated and drinking lots of sodas does not help a soccer player especially because of all the running. 3) On the way to the field telling yourself that you are feeling weak today, puny, slow, quiet, shy, or scared. It is not healthy to have those thoughts in your head any day of the week but especially game day. I have become extremely arrogant in my head before practice and games now.   The whole way to the field I give myself positive "I" statements such as I am strength, I am speed, I am power, I am invincible, and many others. If people herd the thoughts in my head before I play now they would think that I am the most arrogant athlete ever but all I'm really doing is trying to get my light bulb to work properly and be focused for the next 90+ minutes.
     This last week has been tough for our team. We are such a gifted team. We have the potential to be the best in the nation if we truly want to. But we are falling apart because of jealousy, and anger. There are different problems from our leadership that I will not get into for the sake of damaging any relationships with people that may read this. But as a team we are trying to find ourselves again and boost each other up. One thing I have noticed in my good friends Luke Adams, and Ryan Davidson are their professional approaches to all of the drama that has been going on lately. They know things are not ideal for our team right now but they are not giving up on playing their best individually just because things are not perfect. I am going to try and take this approach as well. I may not have had the best of seasons as far as getting playing time, or becoming a "favorite" on the team but I love this sport and I plan on playing it a lot longer than just this year. I also love God and I hope to reflect a good attitude on it all.
     I have always heard that we are supposed to praise God in the good times and even more in the bad. It is tough to do but it makes life so much easier when you do that. I don't think that this means we are only supposed to sing praise songs to God but also honor him by doing what is right even though it is tough and hard. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." So I personally am going to keep focused and push through with the best attitude possible and know that if I keep going hard and working for the Lord then good things will happen. Hey, Edison did eventually come up with a pretty impressive invention right?

What have I become...

     This is my first real blog so I hope it turns out okay. If you haven't guessed from the title of my blog, I am a soccer player. I've lived in Nigeria for 11 years, Ghana for 1 year, and the United States now for 6 years. My parents were missionaries and that was the reason for me being born and living in Africa. I learned a lot while living there and have great stories to share with people. But I think that the best thing that I learned and experienced over there was soccer, or football.
     I grew up playing the beautiful game against grown men. My father had started a Christian soccer team that would go around and play against other teams in Nigeria and afterwards we would all come together as one family and do a devotion and eat together. It was great for me to get the experience to play against men like that. My father used to put me in defense, because obviously for a 5th grader I probably wasn't going to dribble through people let alone score, but I was good at reading people when they came at me and getting some part of my body on the ball to get it away.
     Growing up that way taught me that size does not matter. And that little phrase people often say jokingly is actually very true... "It's not the size of the dog but it's the size of the fight in the dog."
     Lately, I have not been the player I once was. The player that in my high school years got the reputation of "Game changer." The player that won awards for soccer both in America and in Nigeria. The player that came to America for one season in high school and earned the right to wear the captains band and be an influence on others. Lately... I have found myself afraid, to put it short. I think fear affects everything and if you live life with no fear then you will excel higher than a lot of people. The only fear I used to have was in the Lord. Now I not only have been fearing the Lord but other players, my coach, what people say about me, how strong other people are compared to me, how good people are with the ball, how fast people are... and the list goes on and on. Thank God, I have now realized it. I first realized what my problem was this week when my teammate asked me what happened to me. He had been going through my pictures on facebook and he saw the type of player that I used to be and it shocked him that I have not been doing that. So he confronted me. Thank the Lord for that confrontation and for my teammate to care that much to even bring it up.
     I play for South Georgia College in Douglas, GA and it has been great but also a big struggle the whole way. So now this blog, to me, symbolizes a new beginning. A fresh start. I am going to get back to the old me and make improvements along the way. And I hope that people will read this and join in with me whether it is praying for me, or learning something new that they themselves can use in their life and hopefully we can all get back to where we started, fully confident and ready to go, trusting in the Lord all the way.

     Mathew 7:7-12 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."


     Just an added note, that is me the little white kid next to the truck. My father is there too. And the man next to me grabbing my shoulder is one of my oldest friends named Yakubu, he has known me since I was born.